Best Served Cold
by Mizily
Summary: A love for tomatoes is hereditary, it seems. And apparently, so is smirking, vindictiveness and sadism. Ah, the joys of parenthood.  Slight SasuTen.


**Best Served Cold**

**A love for tomatoes is hereditary, it seems. And apparently, so is smirking, vindictiveness and sadism. Ah, the joys of parenthood. [Slight SasuTen]**

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke was respected by many, feared by most and known by all– he was, after all, the survivor of the Uchiha massacre, formally acknowledged as one of the strongest shinobi in Konoha. There was always a certain degree of caution exercised around him, by even his closest friends. They would tread carefully, for this was a man who was known for holding grudges and and one who could potentially kill them in less than 5 minutes.

For battle-worn shinobi and kunoichi who would've quite liked death by old age, these two characteristics did not compliment each other. At all.

But right now, the Uchiha was beginning to sweat profusely under the gaze of a seven-year old child.

(Pathetic, he knew, but this one had already proved himself to be a worthy opponent.)

"You ate my cherry tomatoes," the boy accused, big brown eyes (ones he had inherited from his mother, to Sasuke's satisfaction) flashing hurt and annoyance. Sasuke didn't deny it, instead opting to remain silent. He found it unfair that the child got the best, juiciest cuts of whatever delicious dish his wife had been experimenting with that evening.

_Favouritism_, he thought, irritation contorting his features ever so slightly.

Dinnertime was a battlefield, as many of their friends knew all too well, for the Uchihas. Well, for Ryuu and Sasuke Uchiha. (Tenten was never told, for the chopsticks on the table looked rather threatening in her hands– she could name at least 10 ways that she could maim/kill/destroy with any ordinary household item, and they'd never doubted her.) She would sit obliviously, eating her food like a civilised person, chattering about weapons and astronomy and god-knows-what-else, while the two males battled it out over a plate of pork or something of the such.

When cherry tomatoes were involved, though, the kid gloves came off and the S-Ranked ninjutsus came out.

And so, that dinnertime, Ryuu found his dinner short a half dozen cherry tomatoes, and his father rather suspiciously bulging at the cheek, though he knew that he'd already eaten all of his own.

When his mother was out of the room, he'd whispered insults, accusations and threats under bated breath to his smirking father (because really, who could take jabs such as 'you meanie' seriously?)

(Some part of Sasuke's brain was becoming increasingly nervous– the part that knew this little boy to be _dangerous–_ and told him to be at least a little worried– but he ignored it blatantly.)

Ryuu had promptly finished his meal, excused himself with a straight face, and set off to the training grounds to blow off some steam.

His father, sensing his battle chakra flare, had initially thought something along the lines of that's my boy, before remembering a case of stolen onigiri and one particularly miserable dinner without his favourite katsuobushi. His lips set back into its original thin, grim line.

Tenten, who'd been curled on the couch, immersed in Kunoichi's Weekly, had glanced up to her tense husband, eyes glimmering with light amusement.

"Sasuke, could you bring back Ryuu before it gets dark? Make sure he doesn't overdo it– you know how he is."

Sasuke had stiffened– he was trained in combat, not dealing with a seven-year old with an ugly temper. He opened his mouth to make an excuse, but made the fatal mistake of turning to look at his wife, whose hair was coming undone, and cheeks were a rosy pink from the warm Konoha evening.

He complied without hesitation.

He was, as Nara Shikamaru would put it, well and truly whipped. (How troublesome.)

"I'll be back in a few minutes." He spared her a small smirk and a chaste kiss to the crown of her head, and in a flash, he was gone.

Tenten beamed behind the glossy pages of her magazine, before flicking to the horoscopes.

* * *

The sight which greeted a reluctant Sasuke was of a desecrated forest and a rather pissed-off son, who was flinging kunai haphazardly around the small clearing.

Sasuke paused a moment to send a pitying glance to the poor trees, half of which had been impaled by shuriken, kunai and sai, the other half Katon: Goukykuu no Jutsu'd to oblivion.

It seemed that Ryuu was having a tantrum.

It happened rather often, over the smallest things, and no matter how many parallels his friends drew from him to his son, he simply did not _–would not–_ believe that as a child, he'd been such a _spoilt brat._

"Ryuu," Sasuke called, in his most fatherly voice, though it only came out rather strangled and audibly forced. "It'll be dark soon. Come back in."

Ryuu's reply was defiant, because he was not talking to Uchiha Sasuke, formerly one of the greatest threats Konoha had ever had to face, the powerful man with powerful connections (it was said that he met with the Hokage for ramen every Friday).

He was talking to Uchiha Sasuke, his daddy.

"Make me." It never crossed his mind that his father could make him, and very easily, if he'd wanted to. But Sasuke was determined to exercise that fatherly patience that he so obviously didn't have, so he only scowled and watched as his son incinerated the remainder of the _youthful green forests of Konoha!_

Uncle Lee would be heartbroken.

Sasuke had never been an environmentalist, and was more concerned with the fact that his son was a stubborn little punk who wouldn't give his own father the time of day. He repeated himself, leaning against a charred, pathetic excuse for a tree with a casual coolness that his son could only dream of ever pulling off.

"Come back in."

The boy seemed to pause, pondering over it for a moment.

"No."

Sasuke wondered, eyebrow twitching slightly, if he was being mocked. But drawing a sharp breath, he tried again.

"Come back in, Ryuu." His voice was lowered in a way that would make even the greatest of shinobi tremble. But not this little boy. Slowly, drawing out his syllables as if his father was stupid, he answered.

"I don't want to, so I'm not going to."

"Your mother won't be happy when I tell her you're being disobedient."

"Mummy won't be happy when I tell her who's been using her favourite katana for gardening." Ryuu nodded inwardly in approval. Mummy had long since proved herself to be the dominant half in this marriage, despite what Daddy always told his friends. Sasuke's slight cringe only reinforced his already solid conclusion, though he regained his composure a moment later.

Mummy could be scary when she wanted to.

"I'm not going to argue with you, Ryuu. Come back home now, or Uncle Shino will be baby-sitting this weekend."

The boy was barely fazed, despite his irrational and deeply-rooted fear of all small and multi-legged.

"Not gonna happen, Daddy." There it was– his natural cheek slipping into his speech. It was the part of Tenten that Sasuke had ferverently wished he hadn't inherited. But sadly, luck was against him, and his son was gifted with the ability to cause a budding migraine in three minutes flat.

_"Ryuu." _He enunciated clearly, even through gritted teeth.

"Daddy."

Patience slowly being grated away to nothing (he hadn't had much to begin with), only a thread of restraint stopped him from chidoriing his son's ass to the next dimension.

Instead, he yanked a kunai from the tree next to him and flung it in his son's direction– not meant to make contact, only to intimidate.

It whizzed by Ryuu's ear neatly, prompting the boy to jump violently. Ryuu flung himself into a defensive stance, whirling round to face his opponent.

Sure enough, Sasuke was standing, mirroring his son's stance and smirking the infuriating smirk that he was known for.

His young mind did not comprehend: Daddy= extremely powerful opponent.

_Daddy's not so tough! I can take him! _he thought confidently, having always been praised as the second Uchiha prodigy. He hadn't even thought about who the first had been.

So he hurled a shuriken from his weapons pouch with all the strength he could muster. It was a throw that his mother would've been proud of, soaring high and fast and true to its target.

But Sasuke was faster, dodging the shuriken with ease. Ryuu huffed, blowing black bangs out of his eyes; he _never_ missed a target.

"You're not meant to move!" he told his father matter-of-factly, but he only smirked in response.

"Is that right?"

Ryuu nodded earnestly.

"How am I meant to hit you if you move?"

Sasuke's smirk only widened.

"Okay. I won't move this time, if you don't want me to. Try to hit me." The underlying taunt of 'bet you can't' rang clearly through his words. The child's lips immediately set in a thin, straight line, never being one to pass up a challenge.

With a flick of the wrist, the boy sent a kunai flying.

Sasuke, in that split second, mused that his son had remarkably good aim. He must've been (illegally) practising on the targets outside the academy as he knew Tenten had as a child. Ryuu really was his mother's son, he realised as his smirk was replaced with a rare, if not minuscule smile.

The sailing kunai embedded itself into Sasuke's chest.

Bullseye.

Ryuu, who'd had his eyes squeezed shut, opened them slowly, his gaze raised to the figure in front of him. His aim had been perfect, his technique flawless, and he could see that the kunai was lodged between two ribs. It would've pierced one, maybe two, vital organs.

A killing blow.

"D-Daddy?" The pride in knowing that his throw hit its target with deadly accuracy dispersed immediately, leaving behind only rigid shock and horrified disbelief. Ryuu's voice came out higher than usual, with an edge of panic-cold fear.

Ryuu's usually bright eyes were glassy, all signs of mirth or cheer gone. His brain was processing nothing and at the same time, everything– thoughts were running amok, trying to organise themselves into comprehending what had just happened.

His mind was in overdrive; he felt nauseated, something hot and sickening settling in the bottom of his stomach.

There was a long, painful moment of silence.

Then a _pop_, and where Uchiha Sasuke had been standing, a log of wood now materialised.

A deep, throaty, possibly derisive chuckle sounded. His Daddy was now behind him, unharmed, and Ryuu felt warm relief flood into him and a wide smile break over his face. Daddy was safe! He considered throwing his arms around him, before he remembered that he was mad at his Daddy, because his Daddy stole his cherry tomatoes.

(Anyway, hugging wasn't cool. Regardless of whatever the weird man on the turtle said.)

With that thought in mind, his whole demeanor shifted. The smile dropped off his face at once, and he flung himself around and back, putting a good five metres between him and his father.

"You got lucky," Ryuu said, little nose up in the air. "But just try and dodge this!"

And he began to procure weapons – small weapons, large weapons, foreign weapons that Sasuke could not name– in a advanced scroll technique far beyond his years.

Sasuke might've been impressed, had the boy followed through with similarly impressive combative skills. But, it would not be so, for it was then that Ryuu's lack of real battle experience began to reveal itself.

Sasuke watched in disbelief as his son began to run in circles, eyes screwed shut, slashing wildly at thin air.

Naruto never has to know about this, he decided darkly before dodging the weapons scroll that had been lobbed his way.

He stood aside calmly, as the weapons slashed, hacked and pierced everything _except_ from him. He arched an eyebrow at the weapon storm destroying all around him, figuring that the boy would eventually run out of weapons...

Sasuke waited. And waited. And waited.

And sidestepped an incoming pair of nunchuckus. And waited some more.

Then cursed Tenten for showing the child how to equip an entire armoury into his arsenal.

He ducked to avoid a flying spear.

Just as he was beginning to consider simply trapping the boy, and throwing him over his shoulder to carry him home, a sudden, dull _thud_ sounded.

Onyx eyes darted to the young boy, who had fallen flat on his face. Those well-trained eyes quickly analysed the damage– nothing major, he realised with relief, but enough to make him wince.

Ryuu had scraped his knee, and fallen on several sharp objects which had scratched and broken skin– shallow cuts oozed liquid scarlet. In a flash, Sasuke was at his side, swearing lightly under his breath. There were a few seconds of silence.

"No, don't–"

But the child had broken out into a blubbering mess, limbs curling defensively into a protective ball. He was bawling loudly, fat tears rolling down chubby cheeks and nose running.

"M-Mummy!"

Because all he wanted right now was one of her cuddles, to make everything better.

Sasuke clamped a hand over his son's mouth, dark eyes scanning the surroundings to check that no, his wife was not hiding in a bush somewhere, just waiting to jump out at him. With a small sigh, he turned his attentions to the crying little boy who was meant to be top of his class. Or something.

He raised a thumb to brush away hot tears carefully.

"Don't cry," he ordered him, but his voice had softened.

"B-But it hurts!" Ryuu sniffled, almost as if he had to justify himself.

"I know. Just be brave for a while."

"B-B-But–"

"Shinobis have to be strong, for the people they care about, you know that, don't you Ryuu?"

He nodded, but his teary brown eyes were fixed on the ground obstinately.

"When we go back home I'll clean those cuts and put a plaster on them," Sasuke coaxed gently, poking his forehead. A tiny, kindly smile spread over his pale features.

Ryuu began to quiet, reddened eyes narrowing at his father.

"The ones with the kunai on them?" he questioned suspiciously.

Sasuke nodded, helping the boy to his feet.

"Yes, those ones." That seemed to do the trick. The young Uchiha's eyes were still watery, but he'd shut up. He sniffed hard.

"I'm still mad at you," he informed his father, who shook his head exasperatedly and lifted him gingerly into his arms.

"Let's go home."

Ryuu smiled into the navy folds of his father's shirt.

* * *

Tenten was standing by the front door expectantly when evening had fallen over the rooftops of Konoha and the sky dangling above had faded to a dusky indigo. Her patience was wearing thin because she was tired and it was dark and strange nin were prowling the city at this time and where the hell were they?

But she knew better than to worry when her husband was so strong and when she _knew_ that he wouldn't let anything happen to her beloved son.

In the distance, she made out the silhouette of someone dashing towards the house with almost unrivalled speed.

She'd recognise that spiky, chicken-ass hair anywhere.

Only... where was–

She squinted.

"Ryuu!" she gasped, rushing to where her little boy was, a bleeding mess of cut and bruised flesh. She all but snatched him from Sasuke's arms and cradled him as she would a baby. "What happened?"

Sasuke opened his mouth for the automatic "he tripped," but was interrupted by his son bursting into fresh tears which came louder and more violently than before. The older Uchiha almost gaped. What. the. hell?

"Daddy threw a kunai at me," he choked out between sobs, and it was true but... but...

The accused stammered and stumbled, trying to explain himself, all too wary of the dark aura surrounding Tenten and the distinctive way her eyebrows furrowed. This, he had learnt, foreshadowed danger and destruction, and his most basic instinct told him to _runrunRUN_! But his feet stayed firmly rooted to the ground due to his over-inflated male pride. (Or maybe it was fear.)

She turned towards her husband, fire in her eyes, completely missing her son's devious, rather malicious smirk, every bit as infuriating as his father's.

"UCHIHA SASUKE!"

("That was for the tomatoes," Ryuu mouthed.)

(Sasuke wanted nothing more right then than to throttle the boy.)

* * *

...Sasuke slept on the couch that night.

Ryuu–1, Daddy–0.

* * *

**I had waaaay too much fun writing this :D SasuTen because I felt like it. Please don't kill me SasuSaku, NejiTen fans! I happen to love NejiTen and I like SasuSaku if it's written well– I'm just tryin' something new.**

**I tried my best to not turn Ryuu into a Gary-Stu or an angsty little kid, but I'm not really too sure if I succeeded. He's my version of Sasuke/Tenten (devil)spawn and if he's a little messed up in the head, so be it. :)**

**Anyways, I'm a new writer so if you drop a review or some constructive critiscism it's very much appreciated!**

**Ciao!**

** ~Mizily**


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